Colosseum wrote:I originally wanted to study engineering, then a very wealthy guy reminded me that engineers work for businessmen, so I got a business degree.
*clears throat*
Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality
And math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.
A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate
And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.
Why anybody who wants a job would study lit's a mystery
Unless their only other choice were something like art history.
A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve
A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave.
I'd rather eat a fowler's toad that major in Biology
And Social Psych is worse than either Psych or Sociology.
The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable
Just put me down as "Undecided"-Every major's terrible.
Now if you can't prognosticate, that's ok in seismology,
But if your hindsight's weak as well, you best stick to theology.
CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.
Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.
I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.
As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."
Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,
The Wikipage for "Physics Major" redirects to "Engineer."
They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,
But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.
I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,
But put me down as "Undecided" - Every Major's Terrible.
Astronomers all cringe when they hear "Supermoon" or "Zodiac."
Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.
I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,
And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.
While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,
a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naiveté.
TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology
(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).
By dubbing econ "Dismal Science" adherents exaggerate;
The "Dismal"'s fine - It's "Science" where the patently prevaricate.
In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.
Just put me down as "Undecided" - Every Major's Terrible.
